The Dark Lord's Retribution
by AutumnGoddess
Summary: Severus Snape finds the Dark Lord's vengence... unfortunate for him. Dum, Dum, Duuuuuuuuumm Includes peroxide bombs, screeching mandrakes, embarassing howlers and much more! Tom Riddle was quite the prankster and the Dark Lord is no exception... Please R
1. The beginning of the end

**Ok, after realising that I did not have a copy of my first chapter of 'The Dark Lord's Retribution' I copied and pasted it into Word and to my horror I found a hundred spelling and grammatical errors! I was extremely mortified! So without further ado here is the new and improved version of "The Beginning of the End" by me!**

AN: Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic, a little story about Snape and how Voldemort tries to take his revenge on his "traitor", although not in the way most people would expect! I hope you like it, I got the idea after watching Alan Rickman's brilliant film Dogma (absolutely adore that movie, swearing and all!) and I have gotten lots of help from my best friend Summer, love you sweetie! Anyway, I would also like to dedicate this story to her as she absolutely adores Snape in Harry Potter and, like me, has a very great respect for a certain Alan Rickman. Oh and don't ask me how I got inspiration for Severus Snape from Dogma, coz yeah, Metatron and Snape have sooooooo much in common! Oh, and before I leave you all in peace I would like to mention I own nothing but my own ideas! Thank-you all!  
  
Severus Snape stormed down the corridor looking utterly pissed off. He flung open the door to the potions classroom and stalked over to his tidy desk, sitting down in a flourish of black robes. His students looked up questioningly, then seeing what he was so pissed about, ducked their heads, trying to look inconspicuous. A few of them sniggered and Snape looked up glaring nastily. They quickly got to work not wanting detention or some other foul form of punishment Snape would be sure to concoct.  
  
After a few minutes of muffled giggles and frightened looks, the Potions Master decided his dignity could not withstand it any further, and stood up abruptly, immediately attracting the attention of the entire room with his quiet charisma.  
  
"Now then." he paused, then spent a moment trying to recover his composure. It would not do to have students think he was some daft old man who couldn't deal with a slight ... accident. Severus's face colour changed a few times, from red to white, then back to his original slightly-less-white complexion. "No doubt, you have noticed my current awkward position."  
  
"W-what awkward position, Professor?" Neville Longbottom choked out nervously. He received a particularly dangerous glare for his trouble.  
  
"Shut up, boy, you know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Now, what I'm saying is that if any student in this class, and I mean ANYBODY, says the slightest thing out of line about my hair, I will gladly carve them to mincemeat." Snape spoke through clenched teeth.  
  
The students gulped. Even Draco Malfoy looked scared at this last statement.  
  
"Now get back to work." He growled, and he slumped back down in his seat looking thoroughly pissed off once again. Thinking for a moment, Severus opened the drawer of his desk and took out an enormous pile of term papers that made even Harry Potter and his friends feel sorry for him, and watched cautiously as the Professor bit his lip and began to mark the first essay, dipping his quill into the ink to write a snide comment.  
  
It was at this unfortunate moment that Neville's toad slipped from the grasp of its owner and jumped right onto Snape's term paper. Severus blinked, tensing his jaw firmly, and let his eyes fall upon the poor boy. "Remove. Your. Bloody. Animal. From. This. Classroom. Or. I. Will. Mutilate. It. Neville," the teacher hissed at the boy. Then with a violent wave he flicked the toad halfway across the room, landing in Draco's empty cauldron with perfect precision. "I'd hurry up reclaiming that toad, Neville, else Mr. Malfoy here decides to do some WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
This was bad. If the wrath of their teacher was falling on a Slytherin, what else could he do?  
  
Breathing deeply, the teacher composed himself once more, and then took out a large ornate mirror, studying himself. Inwardly he wanted to shriek. He was blonde. BLONDE!!!!!!!  
  
He shuddered, looking away. His hair was no longer long, black and greasy but shorter, spiked and BLONDE! That was probably the worst part! Of course, with Snape being a natural blonde didn't help, it just reminded him of his once dreadful hair colour. He didn't know what had happened. One minute, I'm good-looking the next I'm a teeny-bopper! Frustrated with himself, he suddenly whacked himself hard on the forehead, surprised at how painful it was. He suddenly realised what he'd just done and slowly looked up to face the class. He was met with thirty incredulous faces.  
  
"Why isn't anyone working?" He asked calmly.  
  
Hermione Granger tentatively raised her hand.  
  
"Anybody else want to answer me?" He said completely ignoring the Gryffindor girl. "Anybody? Come on," he paused. "Fine. Yes, Miss Granger?"  
  
"Because you haven't set us a task yet sir."  
  
Severus blinked. "Twenty points from Gryffindor."  
  
"What? What for?" Seamus Finnigan spoke up.  
  
"For... smart mouthing a teacher."  
  
"Huh? What kind of excuse is that?" Seamus questioned rudely.  
  
"I don't know, it sounded reasonable," Severus commented casually.  
  
Snape then stood up authoritatively and began the class as if nothing had happened. After completing his lecture and giving an enormous pile of homework (which he was quite pleased with) he sat down once more waiting impatiently for the bell to ring so he could go check out the full extent of the damage.  
  
After what seemed like an age, the bell finally sung it's sweet chiming melody... or so it seemed like to Severus and he rested his pale face upon his desk as the students left the classroom.  
  
"Excuse me sir?" A small feminine voice said.  
  
Snape looked up to see Hermione standing there nervously. "What do you want?" he said tiredly.  
  
"For what it's worth sir, I think you really do suit blonde," she said before hurrying away from the startled and dumbfounded Professor.  
  
Severus thought for a few moments. Then murmured softly: "Twenty-one points to Gryffindor."


	2. Peroxided Office

Severus Snape closed the door and turned slowly around to observe his destroyed office. He gingerly stepped over some remnants of what looked like half his desk which, once formally black, was now covered in white .. shit.  
  
Snape walked across the blonde floor and stopped beside a pile of off-white material. Damn and they had been his favourite robes too. Being in the room at the time of the explosion, Severus had been covered from head to foot in blonde peroxide. With all of five minutes before his first lesson Snape had grabbed his wand, gotten the crap off his face, changed robes and rushed out leaving the very disastrous scene of the crime. He shuddered, wondering at who the hell would come up with something as immature as this calibre of prank - or have such power to do so.  
  
It couldn't be one of the students, they wouldn't have enough magical strength to make a bomb that huge. Although, Snape paused, he wouldn't put it past Potter and his friends to come up with a way to make his life a living hell, Potter was after all, a splitting image of his father. Snape shook his head, Nah it couldn't be them, they were.. too goody-goody even he could admit that he would be going a bit far by accusing them.  
  
No, the person who had concocted that... monstrosity, knew how to make Severus Snape tick. Turning his hair ash blonde, destroying his favourite robes and dilapidating his office were sure ways to get on Snape's list of 'People to Kill'.  
  
The thought came upon him to get help from McGonagell or Dumbledore but his professional integrity as a potions master forbid it. His pride was already shattered about his hair. Wait a minute! He was a potions master! One of the best in the world! Surely he had learnt something that could help him during his time of need. And it was a pretty great need.  
  
So, Severus sank down to the floor and began to think and remember. Antidotes, antidotes, what kind of antidote would I need to get rid of an appalling hair colour. After a few moments, his mind went totally and utterly blank, Severus never was one to interested in his physical appearance. He groaned heavily, he needed an antidote and he needed one soon! How could he show his face among decent society, no, good society, no, any society when he was BLONDE!!! He would not be consoled.  
  
Snape stood up and went over to the half of his desk that had not been obliterated and pulled out a large enough hand mirror. He scowled at himself, not wanting to acknowledge how much he resembled Mr. Malfoy with short hair. It would insupportable to look like Lucius.  
  
Suddenly the bell rang again, signaling the beginning of lunch. His stomach growled in protest. Oh gods, was he hungry! He hadn't had time for breakfast.. for obvious reasons. He groaned at the sight of his damaged office. At least his precious potion books hadn't been besmirched. His books! Excellent, he could skim through them to find the antidote he would need to return his hair back to its normal black, greasy state.  
  
Without another thought, Severus flung open his door and strode out of it, confidently striding through the corridors as if nothing had happened. He got strange looks from teacher and student alike, but that didn't matter he thought, tonight I will fix this blasted hair colour and by tomorrow everything will be back to normal.  
  
How very wrong he was. 


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ Just a quick t...

AUTHOR'S NOTE  
  
Hello everyone! Just thought I'd say hi before I continue this fanfic, I'm currently in the middle of writing another one too, a romance though, will have many appearances of Snape though (however will not be Snape orientated) *winks*. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, although I'm not sure about that hpfanficchallenger *shakes head* weird, anyway here's some individual thanks and comments:  
  
Lightening bolt fox: I've updated now so please read and tell me what you think, thanks : )!  
  
Vekura: Yeah I know! Poor Snape! Lol but that's the point! Seen 'Sense and Sensibility'? Alan Rickman is in that and the picture I had in my head when I made Snape blonde was Alan Rickman as Colonel Brendon. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Selua: Yeah, I know, I'm fixing that up at the moment, so it should be right soon, I wrote this story at my friend's house and she didn't have Spell Check turned on, so I couldn't tell what I'd spelt wrong and what I'd spelt right.  
  
Hpfanficchallenger: What can I say? Thanks for the challenge? I'll think about that idea actually!  
  
El loco uno: Oh thanks hon! *gives you one of my cookies back* : ) I know! Just think Alan Rickman in 'Sense and Sensibility' *starts to drool*  
  
Jack Sparrow's Stalker: Oh thank-you, thank-you, thank-you! *grins* Oh, I love your Jack Sparrow fanfic! Very good stuff! I have a little Johnny Depp obsession too darl, talk about total hottie!!!! (Especially as Jack Sparrow!)  
  
SilverKnight7: Thanks for the tip! I will, don't worry!  
  
Anyway, I want to say a BIG thank-you to everyone who has reviewed so far and to follow Jack Sparrow's Stalker's lead: *gives everyone who's reviewed a big hug* Thank-you all so much and please read 'Someone's Fantasy' (my other new fanfic) and tell me what you think, 'kay? Coolies! Love you all! Thank-you all! (My now infamous last words! Lol) 


	4. Teacher's Luncheon

AN: Oh! Yay, the italics are working okay for most likely new people I changed this chapter and made Snape's dad meaner! thanks for reading and (hopefully!) reviewing!! :)

With a flourish, Severus strode into the Great Hall, walking heartily as if nothing was wrong.  
  
He passed by Professors Trelawny and Sinistra and he overheard part of their conversation.  
  
"Did you feel the castle sort of shake this morning at around...... 9ish?"  
  
"Why, yes I did, do you know what caused it?"  
  
"No idea, although afterwards, I thought I could almost smell a......." Professor Sinistra paused, searching for the right word, "peroxide smell about."  
  
Severus paused almost as if he were about to say something to them, then thought better of it and proceeded to his seat next to the Headmaster. As soon as he'd sat down, he quickly busied himself with putting food onto his plate.  
  
"Well, good afternoon Severus, so good to see you looking so......uh......umm, punctual," Flitwick stuttered over his words, hoping not to anger the already furious potions teacher by showing him that he'd noticed Severus' blonde head.  
  
Snape just glared at him and returned to pushing his beans around on his plate.  
  
Dumbledore just chuckled and clapped Snape on his back. "Don't worry Severus, I'm sure that it was just some accident hmm? Looks almost like the time you tried-"  
  
"Excuse me Headmaster," Snape said loudly, "Could you please pass the potatoes?" Hoping to compel Dumbledore into forgetting what he was talking about. He shuddered to think what the other teachers would think of him when they'd found out what had happened when he had first arrived at Hogwarts and was trying to concoct a powerful potion that had, literally blown up in his face.  
  
Dumbledore looked confused for a second, then smiled, grabbing the potatoes and handing them to Severus. "Come now, Severus, there's no need to be embarrassed. Everyone here knows what a good potions master you are. I'm sure they wouldn't mind hearing a story about your not-so-good first days here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore then smiled brightly at him and continued to tell the rest of the Staff Table about Snape's little incident with his cauldron.  
  
Severus groaned loudly and burrowed his face in his hands.  
  
He lifted his face when he heard everyone laughing heartily.  
  
"Ah, it's alright Severus," Professor Sprout commented wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "But you have to admit, it is pretty funny," She started laughing once more.  
  
Severus groaned again, he did not need to be consoled by a plant teacher for gods' sake! He started shoveling food into his mouth, trying to hurry so he get out of there as fast as possible so he could get rid of this damned hair colour! Grrrrrr!  
  
Once again Severus' thoughts wandered to think who could have done such a thing. Surely none of the teachers would have tried such an absurd prank; none of them had that sense of humour. Only Dumbledore possessed such a happy-go-lucky nature, all of the other teachers were so uptight most of time. Wait...there was no way Dumbledore would do this to him; Dumbledore knew how much Snape hated his original hair colour. Yes Dumbledore knew the whole story. Snape's mind suddenly drifted back to when he was five.........  
  
[_ The five-year-old Severus Snape stood in front of the bathroom, trying to do something to his hair. Being a child prodigy, he had concocted a plan to finally get rid of the ash blonde colour. And no he wasn't going to shave his hair off. He'd stolen his father's wand while his father was at work. These days his "father" always seemed to be at the Ministry. His was a member of the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad and lately he was working double shifts, so often he wasn't home to keep an eye on his genius son. Severus' mother was off next door, gambling away all their savings. Severus knew that was why his dad was working so much; his mother just couldn't stop throwing their money down the drain.  
  
Severus leaned close and peered at himself in the mirror. Already tall, he had extremely dark brown eyes, sometimes making him look like he had black eyes, which the neighborhood kids teased him about, as well as his peroxide hair, which they knew he hated. He couldn't help the single tear that crept out of the corner of his eye and dropped onto his cheek. His mother was always out of the house, doing something with someone else and his dad was constantly working at the moment, he was often left at home all alone. But not anymore, Severus was determined to make some friends and to get them he needed to do something about this blasted hair for starters.  
  
He slid off of the chair that he had been using, placing the wand next to the sink; he toddled off to his father's study where he knew a big book of spells was kept. He stood up on his tiptoes to reach it and pulled. It fell to the floor with a heavy 'thud' and he dragged it into the bathroom. He started flipping through the book, trying to find the section that he had found the other day.  
  
He suddenly remembered that his father was due home early today. He rushed to his living room to check the family clock. His father's hand had moved from 'At Work' to 'Travelling'. Looking horrified, Severus ran as fast as his little legs allowed him to, dragging the big book back into his father's study, leaving it beside his desk; he rushed back to the bathroom, grabbed his father's wand, pushed the chair into the living room and set it next to the mantle. He climbed up and placed his father's wand exactly where it was supposed to be, stepped down off the chair and hurried to push it back to where it was in the dining room.  
  
Severus ran back to the living room, turned the TV on and sat down, trying to look animated. It was funny, he thought, his father absolutely despised muggles and anything to do with them but Severus really couldn't see what all the fuss was, they were the same as wizards, just they couldn't do magic.  
  
When Severus heard the fireplace in the next room flair up, announcing his father's arrival, he knew he was safe. Dreading seeing his dad, Severus prayed he wouldn't anger him tonight. His father was extremely severe in his beatings when he was tired after a long day at work. Hoping to please him, Severus rushed out to see his father_.]  
  
Shaking his head Severus came out of his reverie. He looked around stunned.  
  
All the teachers were looking at him confounded.  
  
"Severus, are you alright?" Dumbledore asked, looking concerned. "We didn't think we'd upset you that much."  
  
"What? What are you talking about?" Severus asked gruffly, wondering where this was going.  
  
Suddenly he realized his eyes were damp. Quickly he blinked away any unshed tears for his dire childhood. He realised the teachers were still watching him, baffled.  
  
Severus thought he had better get out of there before what little dignity he had left was shredded into billions of tiny, tiny pieces. Clearing his throat he stood up and begun to walk out of the Great Hall. He could almost feel the teacher's eyes following him till he was finally out of sight behind the double doors.  
  
He sighed with relief and hurried off; back to his office, the sooner he got away from humankind, the better.  
  
Snape shook his head ruefully; he couldn't believe the day he was having. First his hair and office were peroxided, now he had nearly burst into tears in front of the entire school! Would this horrifying day never end! Too bad he had lessons all afternoon. At the moment all he wanted to do was shack himself up in his obliterated office and search for an antidote to fix this cursed hair.  
  
Clearly, nothing else can go wrong, he thought exasperatedly.  
  
How very wrong he was...  
  
AN: Okay, there's chapter 3! I'm glad I finally wrote it, I've been really lazy with summer holidays and stuff. I know I ended it with the same words as my last chapter but I like them so I decided to use them again and I know this chapter doesn't have much humour, in fact it's quite sad, I cried after I'd written it! That just shows what I'm like doesn't it? Okay, I want to ask if you have any ideas of what else can happen to Snape and if you do, just let me know! Then you can review at the same time! Well, yes, please read and review, thank-you!!! -Hope (AutumnGoddess)


	5. IMPORTANT! please read!

I'm incredibly, incredibly sorry I haven't written anymore to 'The Dark Lord's Retribution' but I NEED SOME IDEAS!!!!!  
  
I'm just worried that you might be finding it boring coz I'm still on with the blonde hair thing, but I am bringing in other pranks and things into the story.  
  
I've got some clue where this story is going but I want to know if anyone wants to kinda 'beta' this story for me and help me figure out some plot lines and other pranks and things that can happen to our poor Severus Snape.  
  
This would be much appreciated and I will be very, extremely grateful to all!!!! So if you would like to participate in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, PLEASE email me at:  
  
starlight465@hotmail.com  
  
And I will love you to bits!!! ( And you will make me a very happy writer/person! Thank-You for your time- please reply!!! (  
  
~ Hope (AutumnGoddess) 


	6. Breakfast with Trelawney

AN: Sorry I've been heaps slow writing this, but I was just struck with a lightening bolt of inspiration so I'm back on track!! So here's two new chapters for all of you! Yay!! Thank-you!! Please review –for whatever reason, I don't mind if you hate it just tell me what to fix and I most likely will, also if you want to give me any ideas or wish to offer to beta for me-the offer still stands!!! Thank-you again and read on...

* * *

After staying up all-night and pouring over nearly each and every one of his Advanced Potions books, Severus Snape was not a very happy man. Clearly someone, just as conniving and cunning as the Dark Lord himself, was out to get him and he wasn't exactly overjoyed about that fact.  
  
Damn it! It isn't fair, Severus screamed in his head as he made his way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Rubbing sleep out of his eyes, he cursed, wishing that he'd been able to have more sleep.  
  
A couple of nervous looking first years looked at him when he swore but he just glared at them and they quickly backed away.  
  
But today he didn't care; he was tired, he was angry, he was hungry. He wanted some breakfast, gods damn it!! Anything to make him feel that teensy bit better about his crappy life at the moment.  
  
He made his usual forceful entrance, causing the few students who were present in the Hall look up to see who it was before swiftly ducking their heads when they saw Severus' stony face. At least the students know what's good for them, he thought as he made his way to the Staff Table.  
  
Looking up at it, he realised that all the teachers appeared to have arrived earlier than usual and the only seat left (which obviously was for him) was next to Dumbledore (naturally, after all he was the best Potions Master, Hogwarts had ever seen) and... Professor Trelawney.  
  
Severus groaned loudly and wondered how he was going to survive through breakfast without wanting to cut Trelawney's head off with his butter knife. He remembered when she had first arrived at Hogwarts. During that first year, every opportunity she got, she tried to warn him that his death was near. Well, obviously, he didn't die as he was still alive and kicking but he knew she still picked on someone every year and 'predicted' their death in numerous gory ways, which often never happened. He sighed. Oh well, may as well get this over and done with, he thought.  
  
He walked up to the Staff Table and sat down between Dumbledore and Trelawney. He smiled stiffly at both of them.  
  
"Ah, good morning, Severus! I trust you had a good rest?" Dumbledore smiled openly at Severus and clapped him on the shoulder. "I hope you haven't been worrying too much about that, uh, accident, hmmm? Doesn't do well to dwell too much on misfortunes."  
  
"Good morning, Headmaster. Yes, I am feeling quite well, thank-you," Snape bluntly lied. "I'm quite fine apart from this, as you would say, misfortune of mine."  
  
"Good, good," Dumbledore commented idly as he began thinking about a brain teaser Hagrid had just told him.  
  
Snape decided it was better not to be rude. He turned to Professor Trelawney.  
  
"Good morning, Violet, you're looking well I see," Snape said somewhat rigidly.  
  
Trelawney turned her big round green eyes toward him and gave him a somewhat surprised look. After all, it wasn't like he went out of his way to talk to her usually, most of the time they just ignored each other completely.  
  
"Oh, hello Severus, thank-you for noticing, I had to get new glasses yesterday. These ones are thinner then my old ones," she said serenely.  
  
He blinked sharply and peered closer at her glasses. The thick green- coloured frames looked the same thickness to him.  
  
"Yes, they look different and better too," Severus said, trying to think of something else to say.  
  
"Why, thank-you. I must say though you are not looking yourself; you look paler than usual and a dark cloud overshadows your aura," Violet Trelawney answered peacefully.  
  
Severus' eye twitched and his hand gripped his knife tighter as he struggled to spread the butter smoothly on his toast. It was this kind of talk that he couldn't stand from Trelawney.  
  
"Yes, well, I haven't been sleeping well lately. Unlike you, I do not have the Inner eye, therefore I cannot foresee whether or not my student is going to fail an exam or not. Therefore I must grade mine by hand as I cannot merely guess what their grade will be," he replied shortly.  
  
"Ah, but Severus, because you do not have the Inner eye you are yet to discover the truly remarkable powers of the psychic. And besides, foreseeing the future is not mere guesswork- it takes skill and many years of hard work and practice to be able to See properly and even then you must possess the original skill to be able to do it correctly."  
  
"Yeah, not mere guesswork my foot," Severus muttered into his glass of orange juice.  
  
"What did you say, Severus?" Trelawney asked severely.  
  
Snape coughed loudly and answered, "Nothing, nothing, please continue with your explanation."  
  
Five seconds later, he'd wished he'd never prompted her to talk about her 'psychic' powers. The lady wouldn't shut up! She could probably talk for days on end about this topic, Snape mused. He wondered if she was stopping anytime soon so he that could point out that she had egg on her chin.  
  
Suddenly, overhead, the usual flock of owls arriving with the morning post arrived, screeching loudly. A barn owl landed in front of Dumbledore with '_The Daily Prophet'_ before several other owls began bombarding him with letters from the Ministry of Magic.  
  
Severus was halfway through his toast (Mmmmm, jam...) when suddenly a tawny owl flew down in front of him. It stuck out its foot showing a red envelope attached there. This stopped Trelawney's rambling as she leaned over.  
  
He wondered who the letter was from. Though it was curious why it was red, why would anyone use a red envelope for a letter? Red envelopes were only used for Howlers. Wait, red envelopes _were only_ used for Howlers. But he couldn't be getting a Howler. He hadn't had a Howler since he was at Hogwarts himself and his mother found out that he'd transformed the teacher into a vulture and was unable to turn her back. All this went through Severus' head rather quickly and he was still pondering these thoughts when Professor Trelawney poked him on the arm. He looked at her in annoyance.  
  
"You'd better open it," she muttered quietly.  
  
He looked back to the envelope. While he had been thinking, the corners had begun to smoke and it now looked like it was about to explode.  
  
Severus prodded it with his finger. It jumped at his hand even though it still hadn't been open. He pulled his fingers back quickly and out of reach of the furious looking envelope.  
  
It suddenly began twitching violently. And then it really did explode.  
  
An extraordinarily loud, high pitched, screechy voice filled the Great Hall as the envelope opened itself.  
  
"SEVERUS SNAPE!!!!" the voice virtually screamed.  
  
All of the students turned and looked up at the Staff Table and to most importantly their very fast-turning red-faced Potions Master.  
  
Who the hell is sending me a howler? Snape wondered while going bright crimson. Before he could get another conscious thought in, the Howler started up again.  
  
"18 YEARS AND NOT ONE WORD FROM MY ONLY SON!!!!"  
  
Hold on a second, that sounds like my mother. Severus was mortified.  
  
"YOU COULD HAVE FLOOED, YOU COULD HAVE OWLED, YOU COULD HAVE FLOWN HERE ON A BROOMSTICK FOR GODS SAKES- HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME WORRY LIKE THAT!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW RUDE YOU'VE BEEN!!!!"  
  
Now all of the students were listening intently to what Snape's mother was yelling about because a) they couldn't talk over the racket she was making anyway and b) listening to Snape being reprimanded in front of the whole school was too good to miss!  
  
"WHEN YOU FINISHED HOGWARTS I DIDN'T WANT TO THINK THAT YOU'D GONE OFF AND JOINED FORCES WITH THE DARK LORD! I DEFENDED YOU IN FRONT OF ALL MY FRIENDS, MAKING YOU SOUND LIKE A SAINT! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME! BY EMBARRESSING ME BY GETTING CAUGHT AND HAVING TO GO TO AZKABAN- I'VE NEVER BEEN SO MORTIFIED IN ALL MY LIFE WHEN YOU SHOWED UP IN THE PAPER!!!!!"  
  
Yeah, kinda like how I'm feeling now, Severus thought as he slid lower and lower into his seat wishing he could transfigure into a mouse and disappear down a crack in the wall.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?! YOU COULD HAVE BEEEN KILLED BUT DID YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR POOR MOTHER WASTING AWAY AT HOME WITH NO ONE TO LOOK AFTER HER?? NO YOU DIDN'T!! ALL YOU WANTED TO DO WAS GO GALAVANTING ACROSS THE COUNTRY KILLING PEOPLE LEFT AND RIGHT AND HERE I WAS ALL ALONE ONCE YOUR FATHER DIED!!!!!"  
  
Severus was hoping that she'd finished and was about to sit up straighter when she carried on.  
  
"AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR!!! IT USED TO BE SUCH A NICE SHADE OF BLONDE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU WENT AND DYED IT THAT AWFUL BLACK COLOUR????!!!!!"  
  
Oh shit, Severus thought, now the whole school's gonna know I'm not a natural black.  
  
"AND I KNOW YOU DIDN'T STOP SUCKING YOUR THUMB UNTIL YOU WERE 12 BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!! YOU STILL LEFT ME ALL ALONE! AFTER YOU FINISHED SCHOOL AND GOT THAT HORRIBLE TATTOO OF THAT RABBIT ON YOUR BUTTOCKS I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT MY OWN SON WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!! I DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT!!!"  
  
"IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, SEVERUS, YOU'LL MARCH YOUR BUTT STRAIGHT HOME SO I CAN RINSE YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP FOR EVEN THINKING ABOUT LEAVING ME!!!!!!!! YOU MAY BE A GROWN MAN, SEVERUS, BUT DON'T THINK I WOULDN'T DO IT 'COZ I WILL!!!!!!!!!" and with that the yelling of Snape's mother ended and there was silence.  
  
Snape was sitting so low in his seat that only his short blonde hair could be seen over the table. His face was so red that it looked like someone had gotten a red texta and coloured it in. How could she do something like this to me? Severus thought as all the students began laughing at him. At him! The feared great Potions Master of Hogwarts was reduced to a laughing stock in front of the most dimwitted students of the school.  
  
What was he supposed to do now? Maybe he should just get up and walk straight out of there with his tiny bit of dignity left. Great, I have classes today, Severus said mentally in his head. That means I can't just crawl under my bed and stay there till that end of the earth. He decided he had to get out of there.  
  
Waiting until the laughter had died down, Severus picked up his toast and stood ready to face whatever he got. The students watched him the whole way as he walked around the Staff Table then across the Hall and finally out the door. As he closed it behind him he heard the students as they all began talking at once, most of them laughing. At me I expect, he thought miserably. Ah well, nothing to do but to be as mean and horrible as ever he thought. He actually smiled a little at the thought of giving Potter and his little friends a long, formidable, detention cleaning all the boy's bathrooms.  
  
Feeling a little better, he strode off to his office to plan many excruciating ways of torture that he could use on the students in his next class.

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AN: YAY! Finished this chapter! I'm sorry if it's a bit lame, it was kinda rushed at the end because of schoolwork and exams which are coming up! Please review whether you love it, hate it or even think it's a little funny... whatever, it's all good!! Go and read the next chapter now!!  
  
-Hope (AutumnGoddess)


	7. Late Pass

AN: Hey people! Here's another chapter for 'The Dark Lord's Retribution'! Hope you like it!!! Please Review about what you think of this chapter and any ideas for future chapters would be greatly appreciated!!!! :)  
  
P.S. I do not own Severus Snape or any of Hogwarts' inhabitants, features, looks, or characteristics! In fact I do not own anything but my own ideas and plot line!

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**The next morning...**  
  
Severus Snape groggily opened his dark eyes to the annoying beeping of his antique alarm clock, telling him he had to get up and face another day of torture from the students.  
  
Rolling to his side, he stretched out his arm and slapped the palm of his hand over the 'snooze' button. The beeping immediately ceased. He groaned and rolled back over, pulling the covers over his head.  
  
After about ten more minutes of light dozing, the beeping started up again. Severus sat upright in his bed, fast as a jackrabbit and breathing twice as quick. He had just had the strangest dream.....  
  
_-Dream-  
  
Severus prowled through the woods, looking around and wondering what on earth he was doing there. An owl hooted eerily and bats fluttered overhead. He was a powerful wizard, and was not afraid- but suddenly a voice boomed from the shadows.  
  
"Ah, Severus, 'tis good to see you again!"  
  
Severus started and whirled around but he couldn't see anybody- anywhere.  
  
"No, you can't see me. No one can see me. I am part of the shadows so don't even try to run."  
  
Snape stepped back, gasping. He whirled back around. Trying to keep some dignity about him, he spoke as casually as one could to an invisible presence, but he couldn't keep the stutter out of his voice.  
  
"W-Who are you? What are you? What do you want with me?"  
  
"Let's just say we're old friends who go way back," the voice said slyly.  
  
Severus frowned- did he actually have any old friends??  
  
"I'd watch out if I were you Severus, I know things about you that you don't want people knowing. Things that will get people...how do you put it... laughing, I suppose!" The high voice cackled loudly, echoing around the Potions Master.  
  
Snape suddenly noticed how cold he was, that he was shivering. It WAS the cold that made him tremble, not the mysterious, booming, mocking invisible voice, of course... right? For a brief moment, Snape understood how he must sound to children like Neville Longbottom- almost like he had felt under the command of Lord Vol-  
  
And then it hit him. He knew who it was.  
  
"Voldemort," Snape breathed with difficulty, saying the dreaded name out loud. He knew the presence of the Dark Lord easily, and it made him nervous. After all these years, he was coming out of the shadows, gathering his strength, hell-bent on destroying Harry Potter... not that Severus blamed him, of course. Who wouldn't attempt it? ("Stupid boy."), but this was proving more difficult than expected.  
  
Now the Dark Lord's mind was turning to other matter: The punishment of those who betrayed him.  
  
Severus was Voldemort's traitor... A great gust of wind pushed the professor off his feet, and the voice roared in his ears.  
  
"I want you to suffer, Severus. The Potter boy is business, but you will be pleasure! You are a talented wizard, but the greatest physical torture will be nothing compared to the creative torments I will inflict upon you! You will regret the day you crossed me, Severus!!! I will shake your very foundations and make you crumble into dust!!!"  
  
Then all was silent, and Snape was left shivering, sitting on his butt on the damp ground, all alone.  
  
-End Dream-_  
  
Severus wiped a droplet of cold sweat from his forehead. He was disturbed by the vivid dream, and found himself wondering if the vision was really a message from the Dark Lord himself... or whether his students had finally made him crack.  
  
It had to be last option.  
  
Severus was a rational man, and the idea that the Dark Lord would consider spending his strength on 'punishing his betrayers' was absurd! This was simply the stress and tension building up from many years of dedicated, unbroken and exasperating work teaching would-be witches and wizards how to destroy his classroom and implode their faces. That's all!  
  
Hogwarts was Snape's home! He'd never had to take leave before. Well, apart from that time when a particularly gifted failure in his class invented a disease from a simple headache-reliever, only to infect the entire teaching faculty minus Dumbledore. Severus still shuddered at the thought- three months bedridden in the sick bay with no one but whinging Madam Pomfrey and sighing Professor Trelawney for company. But that was ten years ago, and an entirely different story. Even then, he hadn't taken leave, but stayed at the school until he was healed.  
  
Perhaps that was the problem. Maybe he should go on vacation? Certainly not a surfing holiday in Hawaii or anything, but maybe Scotland or France, maybe Florence... something to break the monotony of teaching indifferent students spells that bored Severus.  
  
It would be nice to find somebody who he could learn from for a change, who happened to know extraordinarily advanced potions and spells that Snape was yet to master. Maybe he should talk with Potion Masters from other schools and find someone worthy enough of Snape's time. Failing that, he could search out a student with real potential and power, and create a master.  
  
Talent was such a burden sometimes!  
  
Severus smiled indulgently to himself. He was one of the greatest Potions Masters in existence, and Dumbledore would approve of the idea, and surely he deserved a rest. It was settled- Snape was going on vacation next school break. Excellent! That made today feel so much easier. It was a cold autumn Hogwarts morning, which rationally explained his shivers, and the scent of the Herbology projects outside explained the foresty smell of the vision. The threat of the dream disappeared and was forgotten.  
  
He got up and stretched making his blue and white striped pajamas, showing a bit of his pale exterior.  
  
He looked at it in his full length mirror. Maybe he should get a tan. He'd heard of that tan magic ("Get a luscious brown colouring in seconds!") stuff in a bottle but he'd never given it much thought.  
  
Wait, what am I thinking!! He thought, I like my pale skin!  
  
His gaze raised a bit taking in his thin frame, shadowed eyes and supposed- to-be black, blonde hair.  
  
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! How could this have happened to him- maybe he was destined to be a blonde his whole life. It just wasn't fair!!!!!!!!!! Not fair, not fair, not fair!!!!!!!!!!!! He jumped up and down a bit feeling utterly peeved.  
  
Once he had settled his rage, he calmly set his pajamas straight and looked at his clock.  
  
It's blaring red numbers said: 8:57  
  
Wait that can't be right. He blinked sharply and peered at his clock. As he was staring at it, the number 7 flipped to a number 8.  
  
8:58.  
  
Holy shit! Breakfast finished at 9:00! He was starving!! Snape jumped up and ran to his wardrobe and pulled out his usual black robed. Shoving his head through the top of them, he pulled them down, running around trying to find a matching sock to the navy one in his hand. He finally settled on a bright red one he didn't think that he'd worn since he was in second grade. (Gods only knew what it was doing in his cupboard).  
  
Picking up his pants he put one foot in one leg and struggled to pull the other leg on before falling over embarrassingly. Severus struggled upright, dragging his shoes on. He ran out of his room as quick as he could. Racing down the halls, he took no notice of any of his surroundings. If he had, he probably would have noticed that there were no students loitering about the halls and the sun was just peeking over the horizon.  
  
He burst into the Great Hall.  
  
It was empty.  
  
Snape spun around, disbelieving.  
  
The house tables were missing, as was the staff table. There wasn't a scrap of furniture in the joint. Nothing except for the floating candles that never blew out.  
  
Severus turned and looked out a window.  
  
The sun was half up, colouring the sky around it, beautiful pinks, yellows and oranges. The sight of the beautiful sunrise infuriated Severus beyond belief.  
  
Realising he could still be in his nice, warm bed made him even more angry.  
  
Tilting back his head he let out a long, loud, murderous yell that echoed and reverberated throughout Hogwarts and outwards.  
  
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
A flock of birds flew out of the Forbidden Forest, squawking along the way.  
  
Severus stormed around the Hall trying to work out what was happening.  
  
He stopped short realising that someone had purposefully broken into his room and changed his alarm clock so that he would think that he was late when really he was too early for anyone to be up.  
  
"Ummmmm, Severus?"  
  
Snape whirled around ready to unleash his wrath on the person who called out his name.  
  
Dumbledore stood there, looking at him oddly. Immediately, Severus stood up straighter and fixed up his misshapen robes.  
  
"Yes Headmaster?" he asked, smoothing his frazzled hair.  
  
"What are you doing here? I didn't know you were such an early riser," Dumbledore commented lightly, his long white beard twitching.  
  
"Uh...... yes...... well......I'd thought to wake earlier now," Severus answered, "What are you doing here, sir?"  
  
"Well, normally I wait till an hour after sunrise to get here and supervise the house elves but this morning I heard a yell. Do you have any idea who it was Severus?" Dumbledore asked, curiously.  
  
"A-A yell, sir? No, I, uh, don't have any idea where it came from," Severus stuttered out.  
  
Dumbledore's bright blue eyes twinkled mischievously. "Well, if you find out anything, let me know will you? In the mean time, I think I shall go back to bed." And with that Dumbledore turned and walked back the way he came.  
  
Severus stood there for a few seconds, speechless. Scowling dangerously, he stormed through the double doors that led to the Great Hall and stomped off to bed, glowering the whole way.

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AN: Hope you liked this chapter! Hopefully more coming! Please review anything! 

- Hope (AutumnGoddess)

PS I know in this chapter and the last chapter that Snape says he's hungry, he's not hungry all the time though; the idea that I had was that Snape only eats at breakfast because he doesn't have time to eat (being the Greatest Potions Master is hard work you know!)...


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